I tried to “be productive” this morning, so I made a to-do list.

1. Drink water
2. Answer emails
3. Laundry
4. Become a new person

I started strong: drank water like a hydrated champion. Then I sat down to answer emails and immediately got distracted because my laptop suggested an “important” update, which turned into a 20-minute progress bar and a pop-up asking if I wanted to “try the new browser experience.”

While that was happening, I remembered laundry. I carried the basket to the washer, opened it, and found last week’s laundry still in there—clean, folded, and forgotten like a museum exhibit called Ambition: 2026.

So I took it out, put in the new laundry, hit start, and felt accomplished… until I realized I never added detergent. I stared at the washer like it betrayed me, then restarted it with detergent and told myself, “This is why adults need supervision.”

Finally I went back to the to-do list and checked off “Drink water.”

Then I added a new item:
5) Stop making to-do lists.